On Thursday’s “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert found himself stunned but thrilled to learn that former President George W. Bush had accidentally admitted that his unprovoked war with Iraq was a mistake.
You see, on Wednesday Bush was giving a speech in Dallas and as he tried to say some rubbish about Russian autocrat Vladimir Putin and the unprovoked Russian invasion of Ukraine, Bush accidentally seemed to condemn his own unprovoked war in place.
“Political opponents are imprisoned or otherwise prevented from participating in the electoral process. The result is an absence of checks and balances in Russia and one man’s decision to launch a totally unwarranted and brutal invasion of Iraq. I mean Ukraine,” Bush said.
“Iraq too,” Bush joked (we think) seconds later before adding “75,” a reference to his age.
So back to Colbert, who kicked off this topic with a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about the years he spent poking fun at conservatives, and in particular George Bush, as a fake right-winger in his “Colbert Report “. Then he explained that Bush was talking on Wednesday about “how elections work”.
“And we actually acquired Dubya’s PowerPoint on how elections work,” Colbert said. “Step 1. Get fewer votes than your opponent. Step 2. Ask the Supreme Court to give it to you! Step 3. Heh heh heh heh heh.
Colbert was of course referring to how Bush lost the popular vote in 2000but the Supreme Court stepped in to stop Florida’s legally mandated recount vote to declare Bush the winner.
Then Colbert played the clip of Bush’s comments.
“Jiminy Christmas,” Colbert said. “The one sentence he should definitely never say for the rest of his life! It’s like he’s been thinking about it all the time and it just pops out.
“This has got to be the worst Freudian presidential slip since JFK said that,” Colbert said as a re-dubbed clip of JFK’s inaugural address played.
“Don’t ask what your country can do for you. Ask if you can do Marilyn Monroe,” renamed John F. Kennedy said.
“We do these things not because they’re easy but because I’m hard,” Colbert added, mimicking JFK after the replayed clip ended.
“Luckily Dubya caught up and did a decent fast course,” Colbert said, returning to the subject and playing the part of the video where Bush said “Iraq too.”
“Iraq too? Eh eh ? It’s a refreshing and lighthearted confession to war crimes. I guess we should call the WMD search at this point, someone owes Saddam Hussein an edible arrangement,” Colbert said.
“Maybe Bush will start admitting everything he’s been holding back,” Colbert continued, moving on to an impression of Bush. “Also, I just want to say that my grandkids paint the watercolors. Dick Cheney is a terminator sent from the future. And there are no human-animal hybrids. I saw the Philly Phanatic headless and I freaked out. Hey hey.
Of course, this is always a good time to remind people that the whole affair of the unprovoked invasion of Iraq, which killed at least 400,000 people unnecessarilywas based on absolute lies that Bush knowingly told on non-existent WMD in Iraq.
Watch the whole monologue above now.